Colonoscopy

> All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
> trying to decide who was the one in charge.
> "I should be in charge," said the brain,
> "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
> "I should be in charge," said the blood ,
> "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
> "I should be in charge," said the stomach ,
> "because I process food and give all of you energy."
> "I should be in charge," said the legs,
> "because I carry t he body wherever it needs to go."
> "I should be in charge," said the eyes,
> "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."
> "I should be in charge," said the rectum,
> "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

> All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
> and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
> Within a few days,
> the brain had a terrible headache,
> the stomach was bloated,
> the legs got wobbly,
> the eyes got watery,
> and the blood was toxic.
> They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
> The Moral of the story?
> The ass hole is usually in charge!

Holy Prostitutes

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought....

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:


SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT


His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to th e door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business...."

"Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door. This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway."


He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER .

Blonde at a Football Game

Football finally makes sense.........

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

Oh, I really liked it, she replied, especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.

Dumbfounded, her date asked, What do you mean?

Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: Get the quarterback Get the quarter back! I'm like...Helloooooo - It's only 25 cents.

Merry Christmas

Click here for the Buckner Rams Christmas Greeting

Maybe Petrino would have stayed if the Cards/Falcons fans had cared enough to make him one of these.

Merry Christmas boys (men)

Coach Rob

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Rams Family!!!

The Donkey Trap: Top Boat vs Flush vs Quads

I was playing my Sunday 20K ticket over at Carbon Poker today. I am completely amazed at the complete idiocy I see there. We had a major donk at our table pushing and juicing every pot with nothing. I am on the BB with JJ. Half the table, which is mostly solid players with big wins under their belts, had limped in so fearing a trap I limped. Flop comes J88. Ding dong bets the pot as usual.

Figuring I would trap him and praying someone else had an 8 I smooth called. The turn brings a flush draw and ding dong bets the pot again. I smooth call again so does the UTG. River brings an ace and completes the possible flush on the board. Ding Dong pots it again so this time I push for his stack. To my surprise UTG and Ding Dong both call.
Ding Dong caught his flush.
UTG slow played quad 8s on us both.

Trying to trap the Donkey I completely forgot to keep an eye on the other player.

That is three weeks in a row I have been tubed with top boat to quads.

If it was not for rakeback, juicy bonuses and full .25/.50 tables I would be broke on Carbon Poker.

Christmas Scavenger Hunt

CarbonPoker is running a Christmas Scavenger Hunt for the month of December. The first player to 750,000 comp points while collecting the 12 items along the way wins a $10,0000 seat in the WSOP. Some of the prizes are really nice but I have to tell ya........ after looking at every page on their site for that stupid hidden Tree and Diamond............

According to my calculations you will have to four table .25/.50 FLHE for 21 hours a day for 30 straight days to pull this off. Almost an impossible task since the highest limit regular game they have is .25/.50 FLHE and there is usually only two or three of these running at peak times. Of course you could play NL ring but the variance is way to high. Also if you have a rake back account (which is the only way I would try this) you don't qualify for any prizes just the cash equivalent. Also I figured that the rake alone would cover the cost of the seat so....

I equate this promotion right there with thier rigged side games. Don't try.